Online Dating for Divorcees

Online Dating for Divorcees by Fabienne Swartz

{3:35 minutes to read} When women get divorced, they face a lot of fears, from financial (“How will I pay the bills on my own?”) to social (“What if my married friends stop inviting me over?”). One particular fear is the thought of having to start dating again.

If you’ve been out of the dating world for 15 to 20 years or more, and maybe you have kids, meeting a new guy and going on dates can be a daunting prospect. Some women go overboard and date anyone and everyone while others remain standoffish or timid.

I recently read an interesting book by the self-styled “Personal Trainer for Love” Evan Katz titled Finding the One Online in which he describes the difficulties of meeting someone. You basically have to rely on having enough friends to introduce you to someone or hoping to serendipitously meet someone at the grocery store (and really, how often does that lead to romance?).

A popular alternative is online dating. For women of my generation and beyond, this can be an especially frightening option. Online dating didn’t exist when a lot of us last dated, so as normal as it has become, it’s still foreign for us, and fraught with overwhelming questions.

How do you decide which website or app to use in the first place? Once you’ve done that, how do you set up a great profile and present yourself well? And then, how do you choose someone who is likeable, appropriate, and interested in you — and whom you’re actually likely to meet?

Katz suggests that profile pictures encourage everyone to go for the cutest people, but then, if you’re not gorgeous, why would they have any interest in you? Or maybe you’re 45, and you’re looking at the profile of a 40-year-old who says he is interested in women aged 25 to 45, but really he’s more interested in women on the lower end of that age range. So maybe it’s more effective not just to look for the best — looking matches, but the ones who are likely to be interested in you.

You can also filter for compatibility; if you have kids, you’d obviously want someone who is okay with that. At the same time, if you’re too restrictive, you risk putting people off and possibly missing out on a great match. You have to set parameters and be careful (horror stories abound), but also, be flexible. There is a balance to be struck.

The fact that there are online dating coaches is evidence of what a complex area this is. But as scary as it is for many newly divorced women, there really is no way around it if you want to find someone again. We need education on the subject, in order to be comfortable with it and to do it efficiently (no one wants to waste time on matches we know aren’t likely to work out).

Education is the key to success. If you find yourself struggling to make sense out of the online dating world, seek professional help: Join dating expert Laurie Davis and me for an informative evening of wine, cheese and strategizing to make your online dating experience as painless and efficient as possible!

When: Thursday, February 4, 2016, @ 6:30 – 8:30 pm

Where: Tribeca, New York

Registration Fee: $35 (Register before 2/1)

Registration Fee: $45 (Register 2/1 – 2/4)

Click Here to Register:

  • Does the idea of online dating seem completely foreign to you after a long marriage?
  • Have you thought about online dating but feel intimidated by all the apps?
  • Have you been online but it’s only resulted in strange interactions or bad dates?

Join us as we welcome online dating expert Laurie Davis, eFlirt founder and CEO.

Enjoy some nibbles and wine as we discuss:

  • The common fears and challenges newly divorced individuals have when dating again;
  • Different online dating apps; and
  • Tips and techniques for writing your profile.

This event is being co-sponsored by Financially Strong LLC, ( Empowering women to be proactive in their financial lives.

Fabienne Swartz JD (Belgium) CDFATM
Certified Divorce Financial AnalystTM
500 Mamaroneck Av.
Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
(914) 798-6940

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